Wednesday, December 4, 2019

The Mandalorian (Spoilery)

I Just got done watching the first four episodes of The Mandalorian.

HOLY STUCK-UP, HALF-WITTED, SCRUFFY-LOOKING NURF-HERDER ON A TAUNTAUN!!! THAT WAS GREAT!! IT HIT THE GROUND RUNNING, ALL THE WHILE HITTING ALL THE HIGH NOTES!!! I HAVE NOT BEEN THIS EXCITED ABOUT STAR WARS SINCE SEEING YODA IN THE LAST JEDI OR WATCHING THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY ON THE BIG SCREEN FOR THE FIRST TIME!!

*takes deep breath*

OK...

Yes, I love it.

The new series takes the original Boba Fett form the Hoilday Special — twin-prong zap-rifle and all — and puts him in an Akira Kurosawa-inspired Spaghetti Western and the seminal manga Lone Wolf and Cub. It is a well-written and well-acted cinematic series with just the right amount of practical vs CGI effects and lots of beautiful props and locations. You'll find a lot of hommage to the Star Wars franchise and the media that inspired it (Spaghetti Westerns, Kurosawa films, Lone Wolf and Cub, etc.).

Its basically is... IN SPAAACE!!!



I'm going to assume everyone and there dog knows about "Baby Yoda". The internet cant get enough of the Baby Yoda (by the way, he is not actually Yoda, but for the lack of a species name). You can already find memes of him on YouTube (search "Baby Yoda Car Radio"). And yes, he is key to the plot. I know I'm not the only one wanting to sodomize the corpse of Walt Disney with a thick wad of cash to get a damn Baby Yoda plushy for the holidays. IT BETTER BE DAMN KUWT AN NOT SOME SOULLESS-EYED FUNKO POPS FIGURE!!!

In a nutshell, the series is about a faceless Mandalorian Bounty Hunter named Dyn Jarren was hired to recover someone, no questions asked. Once he found him, the nameless "Child", he goes on the run to keep the child safe. That is it! Its an on going series with a big mystery.




ALL HAIL OUR NEW HYPNOTAOD!!!

Unless you are one of those pedantic souls who cannot stand to see a highly unnoticeable boom-mic, or one of those stupid asshats who bitch about Star Trek (of all things) having "too much diversity", then, chances are, you are not going to like anything good, you miserable pieces of shit! For everyone else, I highly recommend it. So far, 5-out-of-5!

Is it worth getting a Disney+ subscription? Fuck no! They are a shitty company and I question their cyber-security. Plus, in the Information Age, why pay for something when you can pirate! ARRRGGG!!! (Or if you really like it, buy the physical media.)

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