Toilet Paper Shortage

Things would be way better if more folks knew how to use these properly:

That is all. Go about your business of being stuck at home.

Spoiler Alert!

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." 

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father? You should have a seat, I have something huge to tell you."

So Much To Do, So Little Time!

So as you all might have heard, the rapture is upon us! God's judgment is set on us, and I have a lot to do. Killing, raping, boozing, and the general sodomizing of God's creations... Anything to get out of going to Heaven! If you dont know, Heaven is about spending an eternity having to hear a chorus soft-vice angelic eunuchs masturbating the ego of "The Lord" over and over, with no booze or bitches! I would take prolong torture with hot-pokers, S&M bondage, and other unsavory acts then that - hell, I have to pay good money to get that sort of service on Earth. And I hear its not that hot in Hell anymore, seeing how Osama Bin Laden was taken out, and Duke Nukem Forever is finally coming out.

Chainmail Bikini Effect

People tend to joke about the level of protection (well, lack there of) offered with chainmail bikinis. In a game where lethal damage gets reduced to flesh wounds or cuts, with level gains, the issue of armor coverage gets moot. So, if a Game Master allows chainmail bikinis to provide full AC protection, then what else can be skimped-down, without deducing defense:

Remember folks, the Armor Class notes are old-school: Like the armor featured, the less the better! ;)

AC 9 -- Furs/Skins (loincloth):

AC 8 -- Leather (battle-harness):

AC 7 -- Studded Leather (battle-harness or bondage-gear w/ metal studs):

AC 7 -- Ring-mail (ring bikini):

AC 6 -- Scale-mail (coin bra):

AC 5 -- Chainmail (chainmail bikini or codpiece):

AC 4 -- Splint Mail (bondage-gear w/ metal strips):

AC 4 -- Breast Plate (metal bra or codpiece):

 AC 3 -- Platemail (larger metal bra or codpiece):

AC (-1) -- Shield (nipple shield):

 

 
Here you go folks! Heroes that look sexy, but don't have to suffer from just base AC. Yes they don't cover much, but the protection is symbolic to a character's archetype... namely, cheeky cheesecake amazon warriors sn beefcake barbarians. There is still an issue of encumbrance... As if anyone takes the time to bother with the bean-counting, so who cares! And of course this post is just for shits n' giggles, so don't get your panties all up in a knot.

I should note that the famous "chainmail bikini" shown on Red Sonja (who is not a character cannon to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan) has more of a coin-mail suit, which is more appropriate on belly-dancers and harem girls, then on a warrior-woman. When she was first introduced in the Conan comics, she sported a simple (and fictional) mail shirt, but one of the artists shown her in a sexy pin-up spread an a convention and then took off from there. Much like the shirtless barbarian hero of Conan (who actually did use practical armor) and all of his clones, the chainmail bikini became so popular, the fashion became as apart of her image, which in turn, became iconic with the Sword & Sorcery genre as a whole.