Toilet Paper Shortage

Things would be way better if more folks knew how to use these properly:

That is all. Go about your business of being stuck at home.

Its Hotter than a Witch's Tit...

...while dressed as a topless Amazon! ;p

Enjoy this nice OD&D mockup. I hope this makes summer a little more bearable for you guys?

Spoiler Alert!

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." 

"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father? You should have a seat, I have something huge to tell you."

WTF Blogger?!?

OK, so I'm checking out my (recently updated) Blogger watch list to check on the blogs of folks I'm watching, and lo and behold, my list is flooded with posts form some "ngoceh" at the Personal Finance Tips blog. What the hell is going on here? I do not have this douche on watch! I do not give a damn about the glorified circle-jerk that goes on between Wallstreet fatcats! And I cant get rid of the posts, and they have flooded my watch list like a cockroach infestation, as the fucker dont shut up!

Damn, I hate these arbitrary updates! >=(

I have been delightfully "naughty" this season (the less said, the better), so I was deserving of this great gift for Christmas:
People wonder how I sleep at night. Well, quit warmly actually. >=D~ Muhahahahahaha!!!

Fly Me to the Moon (and Mars)

Awhile ago, I found a site called Wikimapia, and I quite enjoyed it. I noticed that much of the info was from Google. Then I found a program called Google Earth which was full of neat features. All that time I had it, I never noticed a built-in flight-simulator.

This is me playing Terrorist. ;P

When I recently switch computers, I reloaded Google Earth. I took the time to really look through the features, and I found some awesome new stuff. One feature not seen in the old program was underwater mapping. When I was flying over Hawaii (the only vacation I can really afford), I crashed my jet into the water and discovered that I can go underwater!


Another feature was secondary maps of Mars and the Moon - although it always had a consolation map.


I was pleasantly surprised that I can fly on Mars and the Moon! (yes, Mars lack the atmosphere to run an engine, and the Moon has no atmosphere at all, or pull to stall a high-flying aircraft, but this system needs no logic, which only make things even more fun, so enjoy the flight -- although, adding a Lunar Lander game would be really nice)



Both worlds also have "historical" overlays, that makes them look like old astronomy maps. So you can take the bland old gray moon...

...and set it to "Geologic Chart" for something really wild.

And boy, it makes for a really colorful trip!


You can ether fly in a propeller plane - Cirrus SR22 - if you like to take it slowly, or a F-16 Fighting Falcon for those who have a need for speed. There are all sorts of other features to discover, so if you have the time, and a computer that can handle it, I highly recommend downloading Google Earth.

So Much To Do, So Little Time!

So as you all might have heard, the rapture is upon us! God's judgment is set on us, and I have a lot to do. Killing, raping, boozing, and the general sodomizing of God's creations... Anything to get out of going to Heaven! If you dont know, Heaven is about spending an eternity having to hear a chorus soft-vice angelic eunuchs masturbating the ego of "The Lord" over and over, with no booze or bitches! I would take prolong torture with hot-pokers, S&M bondage, and other unsavory acts then that - hell, I have to pay good money to get that sort of service on Earth. And I hear its not that hot in Hell anymore, seeing how Osama Bin Laden was taken out, and Duke Nukem Forever is finally coming out.

Chainmail Bikini Effect

People tend to joke about the level of protection (well, lack there of) offered with chainmail bikinis. In a game where lethal damage gets reduced to flesh wounds or cuts, with level gains, the issue of armor coverage gets moot. So, if a Game Master allows chainmail bikinis to provide full AC protection, then what else can be skimped-down, without deducing defense:

Remember folks, the Armor Class notes are old-school: Like the armor featured, the less the better! ;)

AC 9 -- Furs/Skins (loincloth):

AC 8 -- Leather (battle-harness):

AC 7 -- Studded Leather (battle-harness or bondage-gear w/ metal studs):

AC 7 -- Ring-mail (ring bikini):

AC 6 -- Scale-mail (coin bra):

AC 5 -- Chainmail (chainmail bikini or codpiece):

AC 4 -- Splint Mail (bondage-gear w/ metal strips):

AC 4 -- Breast Plate (metal bra or codpiece):

 AC 3 -- Platemail (larger metal bra or codpiece):

AC (-1) -- Shield (nipple shield):

 

 
Here you go folks! Heroes that look sexy, but don't have to suffer from just base AC. Yes they don't cover much, but the protection is symbolic to a character's archetype... namely, cheeky cheesecake amazon warriors sn beefcake barbarians. There is still an issue of encumbrance... As if anyone takes the time to bother with the bean-counting, so who cares! And of course this post is just for shits n' giggles, so don't get your panties all up in a knot.

I should note that the famous "chainmail bikini" shown on Red Sonja (who is not a character cannon to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan) has more of a coin-mail suit, which is more appropriate on belly-dancers and harem girls, then on a warrior-woman. When she was first introduced in the Conan comics, she sported a simple (and fictional) mail shirt, but one of the artists shown her in a sexy pin-up spread an a convention and then took off from there. Much like the shirtless barbarian hero of Conan (who actually did use practical armor) and all of his clones, the chainmail bikini became so popular, the fashion became as apart of her image, which in turn, became iconic with the Sword & Sorcery genre as a whole.

Make Your Save!

Its time to roll your daylight savings throw, to gain an extra hour. ;P *rolls d20*

Hot Elf Chick Welcomes You to GTFO!

I hate Tolkienesque - more over, dandy little Elves! You what an elf chick, here you are, bitches:

Some of you might say that is not a chick, but I cant tell, but the truth is, that I don't really give a shit! But if you are some wanker who needs his or her Hot Elf Chick fix, then here she is:

Welcome to the world of Elven AIDS, dipshits! Now get the hell out!

Retcon or Retarded Continuity

I was watching E.T. the other day and I noticed that all the cops had walkie-talkies in-placed in their hands in an awkward fashion, then I remembered that they originally had guns. My mind could not fathom why Steven Spielberg would make such an edit, then I remembered what George Lucas did with Han Solo on the classic Star Wars movie.

Really, was any of that needed? What is so objectionable about gun-toting cops chasing down a kid smuggling an illegal alien on a bike? (he was obviously a lawbreaker, running from the law) The Solo shoot-out retcon was pure sacrilege, plain and simple! >:(

Then it hit me! What else could they make a shameless edit to? What else...



My thinking is that a gun would appear on the swordsman. The swordsman fires, then Indiana Jones side-steps in an awkward and unnatural fashion. Then Indi takes his shot! :P

There should be a law ageist old-farts reworking their grand opus from their younger, starving days! Lets seen them try to edit-out the police guns, when they dare to brake that law! Muhahahahahahahahah!!! >:D