Dungeons and Dragons: A Drunken Rant!

Its been a while since I last posted anything. This is mostly about 5e D&D.

Fuck you Tolkienesque races! While I know they are iconic to D&D, I'm not obligated to run a Middle Earth setting, nor am I obligated to have them in my setting. Also, holy hell! Every new fantasy RPG have some flavor of Elf, Dwarf and Halfling, and worst have a ton of variation of them. Each and everyone of one of them are one bland stereotype after another! If your setting has five or more versions of "Elf" (or equivalent) your setting... is... shit!

Tonally, my fantasy setting are a mix of Conan- and Elric-styled Sword & Sorcery with Sword & Saddles, so humans are predominant. Non-human people are rare and are generally alien in thinking. The one exception I make are dark elves. Namely, a Drow-like race modeled on Elric of Melniboné. A degenerate race of pale, amoral sorcerers and slavers who once controlled the world but are now dying off. But don’t call them "elves" as they are not fay. Gnomes are small rock-people. Dwarves, elves and fairies are of old folklore and are scary, amoral supernatural freaks of nature.

Fuck you Paladin! You white-knight motherfucker! I never liked alignment and you are inescapably tied to it! The only good thing Wizards did with you is brake you from your Lawful Good restriction. But I never liked you! The way you have to be moralistic ALL THE FUCKING TIME! I hate your divine power of abject goodytwoshoeness! Fuck, I remember when you could not get ANY disease. Could you even shit back in the 2e era? Did you fart lavender? If your 'lay-on-hand' could heal wounds, what would a healing handjob do? I have no time to fuck around with your Born Again bullshit! I would not mind you so much back in the 3e day, but you were a core class. There is a problem with that: You were meant to be a 'sub-class' of Fighter. Well, more like an enchanted Fighter with a lot of powerful options with the restrictions that comes with it. If you fail to live up to your mile-high standards, you loose your abilities and become a basic-bitch Fighter, and must redeem yourself to become a Paladin again. If anything, you should have been a Prestige Class of fighter. That is, you must work for it and work to keep it!

But still, you were never a tonal-fit for my settings. Fuck your Camelot bullshit! Fuck off!

Fuck you Ranger! You never made sense. What the fuck are you? When I think "Ranger", I think of a rugged frontiersmen like Daniel Boone or David Crockett, or a feral child like Tarzan or Dar from The Beastmaster. So where do all the spell-casting comes from? Is there a Wizarding School in the jungle? "Me Tarzan of House Muffleduff." Fuck that noise! Also, why are Rangers so much better at survival than Barbarians? Barbarians are native people deeply connected to the untamed land they families hailed from. Rangers (the non-feral types) are colonizers from civilized stock. What white-savor bullshit is this?

I have no issue with Rangers being in the game, but they need to be a Fighter archetype with scaled down abilities, they get no animal companion, and THEY CANNOT CAST SPELLS!

Fuck you Barbarian! No wait. You are not a Barbarian: You are a fucking Berserker! All you can do is scream and murder shit with a big-ass axe. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love to murder shit with a big-ass axe. My crawlspaces are a testament to this pastime. My issue with the "Barbarian" Berserker class is that is you ONLY fucking option! Natural survivalist? No, that is for colonists. Having a cool animal side companion like in a Frank Frazetta painting? No, that is also for the colonists. The ability to kick ass without a big-ass axe? Ask the DM if feats are used and take Tavern Brawler, if not, you are usless without a weapon like a basic-bitch Fighter. Can I use raw animal magnetism on those I want to fuck? Wait what? You know, the ability to use Strength for Charisma tests based on physical sex-appeal? HA-HA-HA-HA... no, you silly fuckboy! Do I get any good archetypes? Fuck no! Can I do anything beyond Rage? NO, you fucking dipshit! That is all you can do! You are a fucking hammer and EVERY MOTHER-FUCKER AROUND YOU IS A FUCKING NAIL!!!

My Barbarian is a masterful brawler and survivalist. While they can do a lot of damage with a big-ass axe, they are not formally trained in weapon combat, so they relay on improvised combat. They deadly with anything they can get their hands on, be it with a crude wooden club, a bar stool or some rando's body. Berserker is a class option, but so is Beastmaster.

Fuck off Cleric! I don’t need you. You don’t mach the tone of my setting.

I rather use Magic-Users in your place. "Behold! I'm a Priest of the Pit Lord. I'm a Cleric, but mechanically, I'm a Wizard with the same list of spells! I will summon the guard as I'm not good at fighting and only have a fancy staff to defend myself with."

Fuck you Vancian spell-casting! I mean, Dying Earth is a fine novel, but I don’t want to base the magic of my settings on this. I rather roll to see if one could cast a spell. I prefer magic to be tonally eerie and lacking in utility. Magic missile, shield or floating disc? Nope. Read minds or know alignment? Nope. Powerful-but-dangerous demon-bound-sword in place of generic magical +X sword? Yes! More of this, please. Nasty curses, corpse-fucking necromancy, the summoning and wording of demons and spirits, haruspicy, drawn out rituals, transformation on the level of An American Werewolf in London, catastrophic miss-casting that results in wide-spread disaster, wizards that come off like serial killers? OH... HELL... YEAH!!! fap fap fap fap fap

Fuck you Bard! You don’t need to be the only social-focused class! While I have no issue that you need to seduce every dragon you encounter (any jackass can do it; see Shrek), you don't have to monopolize the act of putting your dick into anything, or anyone! Speaking of which...

I do like the option of having a specialized from of Rogue that is Charisma-based, and with skilled tied to seduction, manipulation and prestidigitation. Over the years I have see names like Houri, Courtesan, Temptress/Tempters, Charlatan and Mountebank, but they all play the same, and they need not be exclusively gendered. The best ones have a "secret art", such a spycraft, court politics or witchcraft. Yes, they fuck their way to success and play dangerous games with powerful people but this is the sort of Games of Thrones bullshit that I really like!

I do like Bards, but I want to take them beyond a simple Troubadour or Skald. I have seen a class from Crimson Blades II called the Griot with a number of cool features, like the King's Ear and the use of witchcraft to secretly "supplement" their knowledge-gathering.

Fuck off Monks! I don’t need you! Or at least, not the Shaolin Kung-Fu Monks. D&D is SOOOO focused on armed combat, they don’t know how to make characters kick-ass without weapons and armor! Its the same issue I have with the Barbarian. Imagine an acrobatic-fighter parkouring their way around the battleground, dodging blows and tripping-up fighters. That is the kinetic action I want to see in D&D combat, but I don’t care about Shaolin Monks as there are a lot of spirituality tied to this archetype that I don’t want to get players bogged down with. More over, beyond personal goals, characters need materialism as a default driving force for adventure.

One thing I have been working on is a class of acrobatic-fighter who are former slaves who use dance and acrobatics to hide their combat training in order to revolt. Without a cruel masters to fight, they are free-agents trying to make a living or find a new cause to fight for.

Fuck you Warlocks! I actually like you, but I'm on a fucking roll. If I can change one thing about you, it to make you less optimized towards Eldritch Blast.

And finally...

Fuck you janky-ass combat system! As you gain level, on top of gaining new class abilities, you take more damage, can hit better and can better avoid unusual effects though saves. But at the same time, your damage output and ability to avoid mundane attacks remains the same unless you get some feat or class feature. Fuck that noise! The static damage thing is a long standing thing. What is the point of Hit Dice if they are not used for the amount of dice you rolling combat? Imagine who quickly combat would be if a 9th level Fighter can take down an adult green dragon with 9d8 of a sword attack! Imagine that vary Fighter forgoing bulky-ass metal armor for a sexy chainmail bikini or metal cod piece due to high Dex and dodge bonuses!

Oh wait! You are that pedantic fuck who like to go online and bitch about how unrealistic "boob-plate" is or why Dragonborn women should not have big fat mommy-milkers! FUCK YOU! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY TABLE! I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN AND YOU ARE A FUCKING JOYKILL!!!

Crimson Blades 2 Review

(Yes, I made is review of this game before, but that was a test of CharGen; this is an actual review. Pardon the spelling errors and the length of the review; that is how I review things.)

A while back, I purchased the first edition of Crimson Blades: Crimson Blades Dark Fantasy RPG (core rulebook) and the Crimson Lords Dark Fantasy RPG Supplement. Together, they were a great ruleset, offering a lot of neat rules and ideas. That I found out that there was a new edition in the works, and Simon was nice enough to send me files with a sample of the newer rules and content. Although, largely unchanged in setting, save for a better map, rule-wise, it was way better that what came before. The rules are more consistent and easier to run. I love it!

Originally, the second edition was going to be in a box-set, much like Astonishing Swordsmen & Sorcerers of Hyperborea, containing sheets, fold-up map, (possibly) dice and four rule booklets, each dedicated to a content of the game:

Crimson Blades: Characters & Combat
Crimson Scrolls: Sorcery & Summoning
Crimson Lords: Manors & Monsters
Crimson Lands: Legends & Locales

Through reasons beyond his control, he was unable to make that happen, so he published the game in a single book.

"For the honor of Greyskull!!"

(Sorry, it was that sword that made me say that)

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The rules are simple and play like the old Basic/Expert D&D rules, but the game uses d6s exclusively. The game is tailored to play in the sort of fantasy seen with Conan of Cimmeria and Elric of Melniboné.

The biggest change between editions is how it handles dice rolls. In the first edition, what you need to roll was based on how you kick-down and hear though doors: roll a d6, with a set number (e.g. 4+; lower, the better) based on ability score or class ability (respectively). Some tasks (including saves) would be based on ability scores, and would not change through level progression, while other tasks would be based on level, with no consideration to high or low ability. Doing anything "untrained" would require a roll of 6 or more on a single die. The second edition streamline the possess by requiring only 4+ on a single die to succeed, high and low ability adjusting all rolls (from -1 to +2), and granting additional dice (thus increasing ones chances of rolling a successful die) through level progression. This also removes a number of ability-based checks like Strength Feat, Lore Roll, Notice Roll and the like.

One of the biggest hooks that got me into the game in the first place is how it handles Hit Dice. Unlike D&D, Hit Dice is not equal to one's level. Hit Dice in this game determines two things: Hit Point total and attacks per turn. Also unlike D&D, you do not keep a running tally of Hit Points per level. Every time you gain a new level, you re-roll your hit points. If you rolled higher that your old total, record the new score. If it equal to or less, than keep the old total. Although, in the new rules, you'll always get the minimum of one hit point per level, which makes hit point totals per level less stagnate. Hit Dice also features a bonus that is added to hit point rolls, but is only applicable to the current level and has no effect on combat rolls. Your Hit Dice is also the number of attack dice you can roll in a single turn. If you have two or more HD, you can use them on a single enemy, or split them between different opponents. You may convert extra dice for bonuses (for yourself or to aid an ally in combat), in order no hit tougher targets. Heavy weapons on the other hand use only one attack die, but the damage dice rolled is equal to your HD, and it is totaled! What that means is that instead of handling damage dice per attack, each effected by Strength and armor, heavy weapons can dish out more damage, with armor being less effective. Originally, defense was much like AC, where armor effected the opponent's ability to hit. Now, AC — called Defence Class (DC) — is based on DEX, shield-use and level bonuses. Armor now absorbs damage, making it possible to not take any damage.

The effects of this system, compared to D&D, is to prevent high level characters from becoming human pincushions, with the trade off being that high level characters are granted more killing power. If find this option to be way better than D&D, as characters who gain level can quickly cut through mobs and down powerful beasts, instead of being bloated meat-shield, who spend all day hacking at monsters.

Another neat rule is its simple encumbrance system. A thing to note, is that I tend to ignore encumbrance. I handle movement and what a character can carry in the laziest way possible. This "Thing" system is insanely simple, and reminds me of the Stone-based (units of 14 lbs.) encumbrance systems used in some of the newer retro-clones. In this game, weapons, armor and gear are rated as "Things." Most weapons, as well as the shield, count as a "Thing." Armor range for one to four "Things." The clothes on your back, some basic adventuring gear and pocket change all counts as only one Thing, but beyond this, what you are carrying is subject to the DM's discretion. In D&D, the thresholds to how much a character can carry is ether static (Basic/Expert), or requires a separate lists, based on STR score (Advanced). The amount of Things a character can carry are such a low numbers, that STR bonus adjusts them without complication.

Your class options in this game are: Barbarian, Griot, Fighter, Mountebank, Thief, Sorcerer, Wayfarer, and the inhuman Dendrelyssi race. This is not a game about characters turning into virtual demigods, so levels are caped at 10th level for all classes. Also, you cannot multi-class.

Fighters are your basic D&D Fighter, but with the ability to preform the kinds of stunts you'll see in Errol Flynn films. Barbarians are your typical berserkers with survival skills and a reliance on agility than heavy armor. Griot are African-styled Bards. Unlike the standard D&D Bard, a Griot can summon spirits to supplement their knowledge. They also have a lot of political clout. Wayfarers play out like D&D Monks, but are strange runaways with mystic abilities. Thieves are like their D&D equivalent, but are focused towards tomb-robbing and second-story work, and possesses no slight-of-hand ability. That ability goes to Mountebanks, who are like Thieves in many ways, but their skills are based on being con-artists. Where a Thief still uses Dexterity as a Prime Requisite, the Mountebank uses Charisma. Sorcerers are like D&D Magic-Users, but they can use meany types of weapons, and can even wear armor. They also benefit from the new rules governing the summoning of unearthly spirits, but not to the same degree as the Dendrelyssi. The Dendrelyssi are a race of white-skin dark elves. Much like D&D Elves, they are as skilled with a sword, as they are skilled with the mystic arts. Their ability to cast spells is weak compared to Sorcerers, but they are exceptional summoners.

Most of the classes have a special skills akin to Thieves' Abilities. They have between three to six skills. The player sets priorities to each skill. The priorities are set as Primary, Secondary and Teriary. From the start, Primary skills offers the best odds of success, while Teriary skills have the lowest odds. As characters progress in level, the odds improve more rapidly with Primary skills as they grant two dice and give more dice sooner, while Teriary skills start you with one die improve only slightly. Mountebanks and Thieves, who have six skills each, can set two skills for each priority. Wayfarers on the other hand, only have four skills, so they can only place one skill in Primary and in Secondary, with the remaining two in Teriary. Saving throws use the same rule. You have the same set of saves as in 3e D&D, with Fort, Ref and Will. Saves by default advance as Teriary skills, but a favorite save, as determine by class, is treated as a Primary skill.

There are other classes, but they are NPCs only. In this case, they are the Fleshcrafter, Merchant, Royal Redeemer and Witch. Fleshcrafters are Dendrelyssi who are skilled in torture and surgery. Merchants are expert hagglers and travelers. The Royal Redeemer are inquisitors who hunt down Dendrelyssi and their sympathizers. And the Witch has a limited cast spells ability (though her familiar), but can brew potions.

Much like Elric of Melniboné, the game is set to the "eternal balance of order and discord", and as such, you can choose to play as Lawful, Neutral or Chaotic. The book makes good note of each of their strengths and shortcomings, without making any side inherently good or evil. Its mostly about being conservative in your outlook (Lawful), or being recalcitrant (Chaotic).

The spell system in this game is the same as D&D, and does not offer much in new rules or ideas. The rules for summoning are wholly original. Whenever a class gains the ability to summon, the player must determine what kind of spirit the character can summon. The are: Elementals (air, earth, fire and water), Demons (of Combat, Desire, Knowledge, Pain, Possession, Protection and Travel) and Undead (corporeal and non-corporeal). Dendrelyssi and Sorcerers can choose what type of spirit they can summon — if they meet Intelligent requirements — then they must roll to see would type they are able to summon. Some classes, like the Griot, are limited to Undead or Demons of Knowledge, while Merchants can call on Demons of Travel. Intelligent and powerful summoners can even summon the lords of these spirits: Elementals Rules, Demon Lords, Liches or Vampires. Instead of the usual D&D-styled magic items, demons can be installed in objects or even people. Demons of Combat can be placed inside weapons to imbue great power to the welder. Demons of Protection can be placed in armor, doors, locks, chests and any other barriers. These items can be dangerous and fickle to use, but they can be awesomely game-braking in the right hands, and that is not a bad thing.

Beyond the core dice mechanics, another major change between edition is the complete removal of Experience Points. The reason for this is that the game is not a dungeon-crawl, nor a hack-n-slash. The goal of this game is to focus on adventure, exploration, mystery, intrigue, drama, politics or anything else that motivates the players beyond just mindless (and eventually boring) killing and looting. In fact, there are no Treasure Types, nor list of random treasure to be fund in this book. The system to rate monsters and encounters by level is still there to help the GM rate the difficulty of an encounter should it get bloody, but is no longer a critical component to the game. Based on how you look at it, this may be a good thing or a bad thing, but to me, it really cuts-down on the time it takes to do a post-game audit.

Weapons are categorized into Weapon Class (Vary Light, Light, Medium and Heavy), and further divided into melee, throwing and range, with example for each. Weapon Class are the same as weapons sizes in Basic D&D, but with different damage dice, or in the case of Heavy, the way you apply damage (although, Medium and Heavy weapons have the same d6 damage dice). Vary Light is basically an unarmed strike or throwing stars/darts (d2 damage die). Armor is categorized into Armor Class (Light, Medium-Light, Medium and Medium-Heavy and Heavy), with each class determining weight (in "Things"), Damage Reduction, Defence Class and penalty to physical actions that requires agility or stealth.

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The game comes with a setting installed called The Crimson Lands. The world was once ruled by a race of amoral, degenerate albino-like elves called the Dendrelyssi, who treated other races, not notably humans, as slaves and lab rats. They are like D&D Drows with their cruel and wicked nature, but they are modeled on the appearance of Elric of Melniboné, with their pale skin, although there eyes are whited-out instead of being pink. They used demons and sorcery to maintain their vast empire. Long ago, their empire crumbed, humans rebelled — eventually forming their own nations — and the ageless Dendrelyssi are barren and slowly dying out. The Crimson Lands is made of around half a dozen small continents, surrounded by several large islands and archipelagos. There are around a dozen of human nations, with the Dendrelyssi largely contains to an small continent to the east. Language is mostly derivative of High Dendrelyssi: the language of Dendrelyssi royalty. As the lands are covered in the ruins of ancient Dendrelyssi cities and temples, there are a lot of strange mysteries and horrors lurking in the shadows, waiting to be uncovered by the greedy and foolish.

Braking from the standard quasi-medieval esthetic overused in most fantasy RPGs, Crimson Blades tries for a greater sense of orientalism that inspired pulp fantasy in the first place. The art chosen for the book (mostly public domain and stock art form Sine Normine Publishing) evokes an oriental esthetic throughout.Save for Goblins and Beastmen, you'll find a lack of Tolkienesque races. You will find some Lovecraftian, along with classical Greek creatures, as well as some iconic D&D monsters with a name-change in the monster list. Much like the 5e monster list, there are a good number of typical human NPC types (Bandits, Cultists, Townfolk, etc.), and vary few Orc-like humanoid adventure fodder. After a while in D&D, all those Goblinoids become the same, so having more human types available is refreshing in any RPG. The one predominant humanoid monster found in the Crimson Lands are the Beastmen. They include a list of minor mutations akin to the Hoards of Hades from the MMII, thus keeping them from looking all the same. In a way, they are like Broo form RuneQuest, but way primitive and beastly. Even with all the added killing-power of high-level character's, there are monsters that surpass the ability of a party of 10th level characters to slay. Like in any RPG, such monsters help keep players on their toes, and when used sparingly, is good to give the players a memorable encounter, without loosing all awe to ease or repetition.

The book is filled with DM advice that helps adventure go beyond the generic dungeon setting. You'll find find hooks and ideas for running adventures in a wide range of environments (cities, wilderness, seas, old ruins, etc.), and without throwing huge lists of random encounters (although, is a list, but its only takes up a single page). The primary advice is not to railroad the party into a pre-scripted story, as players would just derail such efforts, but to allow the players to determine where they want to go, and to figure out their own way out of a given situation. One of the fun things I enjoy doing, is reading the list of hooks and figuring what book or movie the ideas came form. Some people might find that unoriginal or lacking in creativity, but any DM worth their salt knows how that the best adventures takes liberally form great works of fiction, and the less the players know, the better! I do this a lot. Plus, anyone who casually pitches the idea to incorporate the premise of Alien (1979) in a fantasy game is a winner in my book, because, even with all the clues and foreshadowing, the players will still fall for it. Yes, if they figure it out off the bat, likely avoid it the situation (as they should). But in most cases, they would find out once they are neck-deep into the adventure, and when they do, they go into total panic mode! (Its good to be DM!)

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So yeah, this game does a lot differently. The rules are simple enough to be altered easily. With some changes here are there, you can use the rules for nearly any setting. The setting by itself strays from the same old vanilla fantasy. Which I find strange and funny, as I need an escape like this, for my escapist hobby. Although, I have not had a chance to get the full feel of the game as I have not had the change to house-rule the hell out of the game. I don't always run a game "by the book", so I cant wait to see would I'll add, and what I'll drop. I'm like a grease-monkey with RPGs. To me, tweaking a game engine is high art and a way of life. I know there are rules form Conan (Mongoose Publishing) and 5e D&D that might work well with this game.
Recently, I discovered an old, iconic third-party D&D setting form Judges Guild called The Wilderlands. I quite enjoy the premises of the setting, but their are a number of minor issues I would change about it (and not the odd skin colors; as a Carcosaian fan, I don't mind that much at all). If I was to run a Wilderlands-inspired setting, I would strongly consider run it with this ruleset.

Testing Out Crimson Blades CharGen

For those who don't know, Crimson Blades is an D&D-styled game by Simon Washbourne of Barbarians of Lemuria fame. The rules are simple and uses only d6s — to-hits, hit points, damage, saves, etc. The setting found in Crimson Blades is the Crimson Lands, a dark-fantasy/sword & sorcery world shaped by decadent, dying race of dark elves based on Elric of Melniboné.

Not too long ago, I purchased the Crimson Blades core rulebook and the Crimson Lords rule supplement. Later I found out that the game is going through a major rule overhaul and is going to be divided into four core rulebooks — Crimson Blades, Crimson Scrolls, Crimson Lords and Crimson Lands — for an upcoming box set. The best rule change is the way it streamlined the way you make rolls. In the original rules, you only roll one die, but the target number lowers as your character gains level. For example, the primary skill of a Thief is rated as "3+", or a three or better on a d6 roll. In the new rules, you can gain additional dice during advancement for different rolls, and you only need a 5 or 6 for success. The primary skill of a Thief is now rated as "2D", or two dice rolled to get a 5+ on at least one die. The rules also changed defense form a third edition D&D model (adjusted for d6 rolls) where DEX and armor adjust a single Armor Class score, to a Conan D20-like model with a basic dodge defense score (adjusted by DEX and shield-use), called Defense Class, and Damage Reduction for body armor. There are a number of other changes. All around, this is a greatly improved system, but I would get into the details in an other, fuller review.

Original picture can be found here. (not mine)

Here is what a (revised) Crimson Blades character looks like using my favorite old-school D&D "Iconic" as an example: Morgan Ironwolf. (from Basic D&D, 2nd ed)

In the Basic D&D rulebook, she is a first level Lawful human Fighter. That matches up with what is available in CB.

Using the same Ability scores rolled (no point allocation are used in CB), she has: STR 15, INT 7, WIS 11, DEX 13, CON 14 and CHA 8. The revised Crimson Blades rules use a uniformed adjustment array, and eliminates a number of the derived stats (namely, Feat of Strength, Lore and Notice). The Ability adjustments are: STR +1, INT -1, WIS +0, DEX +0, CON +1 and CHA +0. The adjustments are so spread out compared to Basic, point allocation makes no difference in squeezing-out an extra +1 to STR.

A Strength score of 15 means a +1 to melee damage, "Things" carried, grappling, throwing, breaking down doors, pulling/lifting/dragging heavy objects, etc.

A Dexterity score of 13 means no adjustments to rolling to hit, Defense Class, or Reflex saves.

A Constitution score of 14 means a +1 to Hit Points or Fortitude saves.

A Intelligence score of 7 means a -1 to figuring out problems, and is granted no additional languages. She is unable to cast spells or summon.

A Wisdom score of 11 means no adjustments to Willpower saves or to notice things.

A Charisma score of 8 means no adjustments to influence people, and she has up to 4 loyal hirelings.

As a Fighter, she meets the 9+ STR class requirement.

She has the option to choose Fort or Ref as her primary save, and chooses Fortitude. At first level, normal saves are only one die (1D), while a primary save uses two dice (2D). Her saves are: Fort 2D+1, Ref 1D and Will 1D.

Her Hit Dice is "1d6(+2)" at first level, meaning that she rolls one die for attacks-per-round and Hit Points with the the bonus applied to the later. With CON, her Hit Point roll is 1d6+3. As a 5 was rolled in the book, she gets 8 Hit Points.

She gets no Defense Class bonus form DEX or class. The base Defense Class score is 3.

She can use any weapon or armor, including shields. Her Armour Training allows her to ignore DC penalties for wearing medium-heavy or heavy armor. She can choose one type of weapon to be her Favored Weapon, which grains an extra Hit Die to attacks and Fighter Stunt rolls while wielding her preferred weapon. As she starts with a sword as her primary weapon, her Favored Weapon is (normal) Swords. She is also capable of preforming special actions in combat, like disarming foes, cutting rope with an arrow, unblousing a woman with the sword-tip and the like with a Fighter Stunt roll. It is equal to her Hit Die plus STR or DEX. (In her case, STR.)

The revised Crimson Blades rules dropped Experience Points in favor of Adventure quotas. As she is a fresh character, her (total completed) Adventures is marked as 0, with only one Adventure needed to reach second level.

As noted, her Alignment is Lawful. Unlike Basic D&D, Alignment is not about morality, but an adherence to order, balance or discord on a social and cosmic level. In her case, "Law implies honor, trustworthiness, obedience to authority, and reliability. On the downside, lawfulness can include closed-mindedness, reactionary adherence to tradition, judgmentalness, and a lack of adaptability. Those who consciously promote lawfulness say that only lawful behavior creates a society in which people can depend on each other and make the right decisions in full confidence that others will act as they should."

I ran into a problem were the cost of mail armor and the bow are much more than what is printed in Basic D&D and goes beyond her original budget of 110 gold pieces, so I added the end result. Silvered weapons are not apart of the CB equipment lists, so it was dropped. I added some additional equipment to round-out her gear. Here is her inventory:

• Mail armor
• Shield
• Sword
• Bow
• Quiver of 20 arrows
• Average cloths
• Backpack
• Bedroll
• Bottle of wine
• Leather flask
• Hemp rope, 50'
• Pole, 10'
• Sack
• Iron spikes, x12
• Torches, x6
• Trail rations, 7 days
• 2gp

Her mail armor can absorb 3 points of damage, per hit, and her shield raiser her Defense Class by one, making it 4.

With her sword, her attack roll is 2D, with a damage die of 1D+1. And with her bow, her attack roll is 1D, with a damage die of 1D.

With all her armor, weapons and gear, she counts as having 7 "Things" — an abstract system of encumbrance. (Her cloths and gear counts as one thing.)

Her above average Strength pushes her encumbrance to allow her to carry 6 things and not effect her rate of movement, but since it is one over, her speed is reduced to 9 yards a round.

Lets use assume that she is from Dralucia, a fairly wealthy and well-connected nation that make a great starting point in the Crimson Lands. Her primary language is Dralucian, and since reading & writing counts as a language in itself, she is illiterate.

And finally, here is her card:

5e Thoul

I was screwing around with the 5e system, to get a better understanding of the mechanics. For most people, its about CharGen and character-building, but I also like to toy around with custom monsters. So I decided to make a Thoul (from Moldvay's Basic rulebook) based on the Ghoul, Hobgoblin, and Troll stats form the free Dungeon Master’s Basic Rules (version 0.2) file. Here is what I done:

Thoul
Medium humanoid (goblinoid), lawful evil
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Armor Class 16 (natural + chain mail)
Hit Points 33 (5d8+10)
Speed 30 ft.
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-STR --- DEX --- CON --- INT --- WIS --- CHA
14 (+2) - 13 (+1) - 12 (+1) - 8 (-1) - 10 (+0) - 8 (−1)
===================================
Skills Perception +1
Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 11
Languages Common, Goblin
Challenge 1 (200 XP)
===================================
Keen Smell. The thoul has advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell.

Regeneration. The thoul regains 3 hit points at the start of its turn. If the thoul takes acid or fire damage, this trait doesn’t function at the start of the troll’s next turn. The thoul dies only if it starts its turn with 0 hit points and doesn’t regenerate.

Actions______________________________
Thouls can ether be armed or unarmed.

Longsword. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d8 + 2) slashing damage, or 7 (1d10 + 2) slashing damage if used with two hands.

Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (2d4 + 2) slashing damage. If the target is a creature other than an elf or undead, it must succeed on a DC 10 Constitution saving throw or be paralyzed for  1 minute. The target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success.

A Thoul is a magical combination of a ghoul, a hobgoblin, and a troll. It is rumored that they are the result of a twisted experiment by an unknown wizard trying to create an army of inhuman super-soldiers. To all but goblinoids, thouls look exactly like hobgoblins. Anyone who are familiar with goblinoids could tell them apart. They usually from into bands of mercenaries, but sometimes they serve as bodyguards of a powerful hobgoblin ruler.

Its Hotter than a Witch's Tit...

...while dressed as a topless Amazon! ;p

Enjoy this nice OD&D mockup. I hope this makes summer a little more bearable for you guys?

Is Fantasy Heartbreakers a Form of Art?

I have given much thought about the the old-school movement and all the retro-clones, and near-retros, and such out there. Not just D&D-clones, but also games like Mazes & Minotaurs and Encounter Critical. M&M and EC are both examples of making a modern game that feels vintage and even makes-up a tongue-in-cheek backstory about their creation. The stories are fictional, but in the case of M&M, it was a good parody of real life events.

I see the necessity of games like Labyrinth Lord (Basic and Expert D&D) and OSRIC (1st ed AD&D) to keep the older, unsupported rules in-print. They are doing well because there is a demand for them, as a lot of older gamers are coming back to the hobby (or they what to introduce them to their kids), but they need replacement books, and there is an interest with younger players who have become disenfranchised with the newer D&D or just what to discover the game's roots. On the other hand, a game like Lamentations of the Flame Princess Weird Fantasy Role-playing Game: The Grindhouse Edition (damn that is a long-ass title) is basically the older D&D rules - a mix of original, with basic & expert - with a good amount of useful house rules, and artwork tailored to the creator's personal aesthetics. This was not made to appeal to the general gaming market, or to tell people what D&D *should* be, but it was the expression of one man who made a rulebook uniquely his. Folks might write it off as a typical "fantasy heartbreaker" (a published indi-RPG that is based off D&D, that tries to compete with it), but to me it is a work of art.

The D&D rules are universally understood by most gamers, and with the malleable nature of RPG rules, plus the unusual legality that liberates them from copyright regulations (with the OGL as a great redundancy), it is only natural that fantasy heartbreakers become an art medium into itself. I already see RPGs in general as an art medium. Its like poetry, in which you have metrical composition (the rules), themes (the setting or genre), meaning (the scenario), euphemism (mata-stuff), and expression (the adventure). In this case, a fantasy heartbreaker expresses itself through house rules, supplemental material (new classes, spells, monsters, etc.) and artwork. To me, what makes a fantasy heartbreaker work is not just throwing is some house rules and ripped art into a carbon copy of the core rules, but to craft something that is meaningful and feels unique.

My Gaming Swag Has Arrived!

Awhile ago, I won a Mutant Future character design contest. Do to delays IRL (mostly from my end -- long story), I did not get it since yesterday. When the package arrived it was surprisingly heavy, and when I opened it, it was full of books and printouts. Blood Axe did say there was a surprise with the package, but it was more then I was expecting. What I got was:

• Metamorphosis Alpha Universe (MA 3rd edition)
• Fight On! Issue 12
• The Slayer's Guide to Kobolds
• Dungeon Crawl Classics #12 The Blackguard's Revenge
• Rotworld (printout)
• Labyrinth Lord Module: Idol of the Orcs (printout)
• Labyrinth Lord Module: Shadowbrook Manor (printout)
• Excavator Monthly Issue 3 (printout)

Before getting this book, I never opened a MA book. I have the 1st edition rules, but its a shabby print-out booklet I put together from a text-only document I found years ago (without page numbers or art, its hard to navigate). The 3rd edition book has added rules that really compliment the classic rules, like how you can boost your Weapon Class with a particular type of weapon after 10 kills using them. I'm still not keen on the alien invasion twist - mostly as an unnecessary element - but it still a great game.

The biggest surprise was Fight On! Issue 12. For a game 'zine, it is THICK! This issue is dedicated to James M. Ward, and has an article about Ward's involvement in the early years at TSR. It is full of fantastic articles, but one of the featured rules I like the most is Treasure Types, by Simon Bull. I seen the original post mouths ago, but I lost the link. I find this method much better then the dry old Treasure Type table.

Rotworld was a neat surprise, as I did not know (or just forgot) that Dan Proctor made a zombie apocalypses/survival horror RPG. It seems to be based on a game Dan required called Timemaster (I never seen this game, but I did know about it). I'm not a fan of table-based systems or attributes that double as a percentile number, but I find a lot of useful stuff in this game.

I already have the Dungeon Crawl Classic module from a box set I found at a book store, and the Kobold book was one of the Slayer's books I do not already have.

I have yet to read the last three books, as I'm pouring through the aforementioned books. I also have to get more plastic sheet sleeves and binders, as the printouts are loose one-sided sheets. This is not a problem, as I already go through a lot of plastic sleeves & binders, do to my artwork and game stuff.

Its going to be a busy week or two for me, as I enjoy reading game books as much an regular literature, so I am happy! =D

Chainmail Bikini Effect

People tend to joke about the level of protection (well, lack there of) offered with chainmail bikinis. In a game where lethal damage gets reduced to flesh wounds or cuts, with level gains, the issue of armor coverage gets moot. So, if a Game Master allows chainmail bikinis to provide full AC protection, then what else can be skimped-down, without deducing defense:

Remember folks, the Armor Class notes are old-school: Like the armor featured, the less the better! ;)

AC 9 -- Furs/Skins (loincloth):

AC 8 -- Leather (battle-harness):

AC 7 -- Studded Leather (battle-harness or bondage-gear w/ metal studs):

AC 7 -- Ring-mail (ring bikini):

AC 6 -- Scale-mail (coin bra):

AC 5 -- Chainmail (chainmail bikini or codpiece):

AC 4 -- Splint Mail (bondage-gear w/ metal strips):

AC 4 -- Breast Plate (metal bra or codpiece):

 AC 3 -- Platemail (larger metal bra or codpiece):

AC (-1) -- Shield (nipple shield):

 

 
Here you go folks! Heroes that look sexy, but don't have to suffer from just base AC. Yes they don't cover much, but the protection is symbolic to a character's archetype... namely, cheeky cheesecake amazon warriors sn beefcake barbarians. There is still an issue of encumbrance... As if anyone takes the time to bother with the bean-counting, so who cares! And of course this post is just for shits n' giggles, so don't get your panties all up in a knot.

I should note that the famous "chainmail bikini" shown on Red Sonja (who is not a character cannon to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan) has more of a coin-mail suit, which is more appropriate on belly-dancers and harem girls, then on a warrior-woman. When she was first introduced in the Conan comics, she sported a simple (and fictional) mail shirt, but one of the artists shown her in a sexy pin-up spread an a convention and then took off from there. Much like the shirtless barbarian hero of Conan (who actually did use practical armor) and all of his clones, the chainmail bikini became so popular, the fashion became as apart of her image, which in turn, became iconic with the Sword & Sorcery genre as a whole.

Political Wrongness

I have gone on the record by saying the the "4e" game is not D&D, but in a way it is D&D. By "D&D", I don't mean this, but I mean this! You see, back in the 2nd years, T$R was so concerned about the opinions of whores, pinkos, and dogs, they make their line dry and soulless do to strict content control. They even had the nerve to tell players how play their own games with an online document over content control. Folks might say that it was only suggestions for DMs, but folks forget that T$R took to the internet with extreme control and prejudice!

Now, how is WotC like T$R? Simple, part 6 of the Game System License:

Quality and Content Standards: The nature and quality of all Licensed Products will conform to the quality standards set by Wizards, as may be provided from time to time. At a minimum, the Licensed Products will conform to community standards of decency and appropriateness as determined by Wizards in its discretion. Without limiting the foregoing, no Licensed Products will depict in any text, graphical or other manner:
(a) excessively graphic violence or gore;
(b) sexual situations, sexual abuse, pornography, gratuitous nudity of human or humanoid forms, genitalia, or sexual activity; or
(c) existing real-world minorities, nationalities, social castes, religious groups or practices, political preferences, genders, lifestyle preferences, or people with disabilities, as a group inferior to any other group or in a way that promotes disrespect for those groups or practices, or that endorses those groups or practices over another.

On other words, if you what to make a third source book using the 4e rules, then you'll be working with a short leash, because if it seems right for the Hyborian Age (or even the goddamn Bible for that matter. Read it - it has all the sex and violence most "right-mind" Christians scorn when used in other works), then you cant put it into your 4e splatbook! The first two are obvious (and the fan parts), but the last one is the most restrictive, as you cant even put in the normal tropes found in pulp fiction: African bushmen, savage Indians, "yellow peals", Nazis, mongoloids, Bible-thumpers, or any sort of slave or slave-owning people! Hell, you can't even portray bigots, feminists or homosexuals! OK, so no blood-porn and kinky eye-candy art, and no negative portrayals of anyone - w00t, sounds like fun...

FUCK THAT SHIT!!! I am sick of candy-ass settings as much as I hate gratuitous magic-heavy worlds! You might be thinking, how is it good to produce a setting like F.A.T.A.L. that encourages immorality, promiscuity, wanton violence, bigotry, slavery, and negative cultural stereotypes? But the answer is simple: that is D&D at its core!!! Its a game about murderous hobos who brake into the homes of one-sided degenerate folk, so they can butcher them - even their babies - and steal their shit, so they can spend it all on booze, bitches, and magical bling-bling. When you try to downplay these facts, it becomes an awful mess like Conan the Destroyer when it downplayed all the gratuitous aspects that is intrinsic to its own genre. I don't mind the new games being cartoon versions of themselves, but why the hell should they push their diluted world views on independent publishers who what to make a unique and interesting setting under their fancy-ass system? It may seem odd to some that these things are important, or just selfish ideas, but some of the most rich and unique settings in RPG history would have never been able to be published under 2nd edition, or 4e rules. Not just the Hyborian Age, but also Tékumel, Carcosa, and a few others (far too few, in my opinion). Darksun for example, is a world that should never be bound by political correctness, as its a dark world, with morality as broken as their shattered world. For those who believe settings should be child-friendly fairs for their own sake, can all go to Hell!!!

In my games, slavery is not avoided, nor demonized - its just a way of life.

By the way, the old-school RPG blogosphere has been debating the subject of nudity and female portrayals in RPG art. I find this to be a really good thing, as this don't come up much beyond the insipid rambling from the "Pussy Parlor" on the WotC forums, and its good to see people go beyond the "naked slave-girls and chainmail-bikini clad warrior-women are sexiest and stupid" attitude and judge the taste and significances of such art on their own merits. On that note, I would like to take my hat off to Otherworld Miniatures for not just making good minis that look like they have been ripped right out of the old Monster Manual book, but for having the balls to show male genitalia on their miniatures. Don't get me wrong, I don't have an obsession with male genitalia - or monsterus ones for that matter - but its go to see someone present them in a mature and non-obscene way.

Technically, this is "National Geographic nudity".

Player vs Magic Items

I'm not a big fan of all the superfluous amounts of magical devices in D&D. The +1 Sword - or +2 Backscratcher, as I call it - is just pathetic! I like magic items to be strange and unique. When I dish out a magic item (once in a blue moon), I like it to have a mind of its own, and I like to trip up the player. The problem with this is, that its too many magic items is too much work for the DM, as it another NPC to focus on. But I found a simple answer: make it a PC item!

How this works, is that when the player finds a magically enchanted item - of any sort - roll it up as an Intelligent Sword (added tables would be needed for less sword specific items). At first, the DM would control the item until the nature of the item becomes known ). Once its magical nature becomes known, handout an index card with the item's general information to a player who is not the items holder - ideally, to a player that controls a PC that can not use such an item, in case the item needs to change hands. The card not just notes the stats and powers, it also notes the general goal and personality of the item. So you could have a Fighter who is played like a jock, who also wields a obnoxious and perverted sword that is controlled by a girl that is playing a goody-two-shoes Half-elven Cleric. If I put the Fighter player under control of his own sword, then he would play the sword the the Fighter's benefit, he would have too much meta-knowledge of the sword's secret powers, and the Sword's personality would not be as apparent. But by putting the sword under the control of the other player, the sword has more personal attention then as a NPC, and the interaction of both players could be vary interesting - considering the unusual relationship between an intelligent item and the one carrying it.

Now, how do you get that player - the one that likes to play the goody-two-shoes types - to play as a total bastard? Simple: XP bonuses! I dont give out XP for killing critters; I give XP for how the players deal with situations. They dont get XP for each gold they find; they get XP for pissing the gold away - after all, what the point of getting more treasure if you are just going to save it? Most of all, I reward good role-playing and clever thinking. A magic item has no need for XP - as they cant gain level - but the PC could use it. Yes, the PC is getting supplemental XP from an item that it not used by the PC, but players are universally greedy, and they would milk the item with all sorts of conflicts and "Spock vs McCoy" melodrama!

Well, that how I roll! I might not make critical hits, but I still roll well!