Thursday, May 5, 2011

Chainmail Bikini Effect

People tend to joke about the level of protection (well, lack there of) offered with chainmail bikinis. In a game where lethal damage gets reduced to flesh wounds or cuts, with level gains, the issue of armor coverage gets moot. So, if a Game Master allows chainmail bikinis to provide full AC protection, then what else can be skimped-down, without deducing defense:

Remember folks, the Armor Class notes are old-school: Like the armor featured, the less the better! ;)

AC 9 -- Furs/Skins (loincloth):

AC 8 -- Leather (battle-harness):

AC 7 -- Studded Leather (battle-harness or bondage-gear w/ metal studs):

AC 7 -- Ring-mail (ring bikini):

AC 6 -- Scale-mail (coin bra):

AC 5 -- Chainmail (chainmail bikini or codpiece):

AC 4 -- Splint Mail (bondage-gear w/ metal strips):

AC 4 -- Breast Plate (metal bra or codpiece):

 AC 3 -- Platemail (larger metal bra or codpiece):

AC (-1) -- Shield (nipple shield):

Here you go folks! Heroes that look sexy, but don't have to suffer from just base AC. Yes they don't cover much, but the protection is symbolic to a character's archetype... namely, cheeky cheesecake amazon warriors sn beefcake barbarians. There is still an issue of encumbrance... As if anyone takes the time to bother with the bean-counting, so who cares! And of course this post is just for shits n' giggles, so don't get your panties all up in a knot.

I should note that the famous "chainmail bikini" shown on Red Sonja (who is not a character cannon to the world of Robert E. Howard's Conan) has more of a coin-mail suit, which is more appropriate on belly-dancers and harem girls, then on a warrior-woman. When she was first introduced in the Conan comics, she sported a simple (and fictional) mail shirt, but one of the artists shown her in a sexy pin-up spread an a convention and then took off from there. Much like the shirtless barbarian hero of Conan (who actually did use practical armor) and all of his clones, the chainmail bikini became so popular, the fashion became as apart of her image, which in turn, became iconic with the Sword & Sorcery genre as a whole.


Trey said...

Good thorough review. ;)

Justin S. Davis said...

Needs more stills from the cast of Spartacus: Blood & Sand.

(I'm all for equal-opportunity cake, of both the cheese and beef kinds.)

Malcadon said...

Thorough and well researched! LOL

I did not know about that show, thanks! Found imaged online, and it should be called Spartacus: Blood & Boobs. ;)

Yes, I tried to keep it equal, as fantasy art is full of beefy men, but it hard to find male-equivalence after leather straps. If anything, all the protection goes to the crotch... Then again, for men, that is the best place to keep covered. XP